Famed author Augusten Burroughs writes a heartbreaking memoir about his father

Imagine craving love so desperately, longing for it so wholeheartedly that the dreadful absence of it is like an all-consuming fire burning within your soul. “A Wolf at the Table,” Augusten Burroughs’ latest literary masterpiece is a poignant and heartbreaking memoir of his onerous relationship with his father. With a childhood spent yearning for something that never came—his father’s love—Burroughs bares his soul, exploring the infinitesimal line existing between love and hate. Although his trademark wit and candidness are apparent, his laugh-out-loud stories are replaced by ones of sadness, loss and anger. Unlike his other books, he says, “I knew going into it that it wasn’t going to be a funny book and my readers sort of expect me to be funny. But it had to be written.” “A Wolf at the Table” is many things, but humorous it most certainly is not, each chapter unfurls another tragic vignette filled with visceral horrors.

Through Burroughs’ childhood eyes he describes his father as his world, though in reality the man is an odious figure. This small, fragile boy constantly strives to gain his father’s attention, once going as far as dressing up like a dog, hoping that his father would regard him with at least an affection equal to that which he showed their family pet. A kind word, a smile, and perhaps a hug were all Burroughs ever hoped for, yet his father never once bestowed these simple acts of love upon his son. An alcoholic with horrible psoriasis and rotting teeth, Burroughs’ father constantly tormented him, not physically, but with the cruelty of sinister psychological games that no child could ever understand. Though his mother loved him and tried to protect him, she was mentally ill and just as oppressed by his father as he was. Theirs was a ceaseless tiptoe around this man who would transmogrify into a ferocious beast at the slightest provocation. Lonely and afraid, Burroughs bonded with his pets. Hermit crabs, dogs—these creatures loved him unconditionally, but nothing in the house was safe from his father’s drunken rages and hateful spirit, and culminated in Burroughs’ docile guinea pig dying a gruesome and untimely death. Upon discovering each new, dismal layer of his father’s lassitude, Burroughs experienced many defining moments in his life, ultimately realizing that no matter what he did, he would never win his father’s devotion.

Before writing this gripping memoir, Burroughs searched out other books on fathers and sons wanting to see if his relationship was entirely unique. “The weird thing is when I went out looking, there were all these stupid books with advice from fathers to sons,” Burroughs says. “There were none about the fathers who were just horrible and it made me feel like even more of a freak because it was like I didn’t really have a father.” When asked if he feels liberated as a writer and as a human being now that he has written his story, one that has perpetually haunted him into adulthood, Burroughs says, “Once I was done with it I felt like I had finally put him behind me, like it was over with him. It was the best feeling.”

Though emotionally dark and even painful at times, Burroughs’ prose still manages to flicker with the facetious undertones he’s known for in his other books such as his New York Times bestseller, “Running With Scissors.” “It was a very emotional experience to actually write [“A Wolf at the Table”], it wasn’t what I expected,” Burroughs says. “It was harrowing to write. I worked so hard on this book.”

Unveiling secrets lurking in the depths of the human mind, examining the inexplicable need for love between a father and son, and eventually arriving at the realization that hope prevails, “A Wolf at the Table” will cause you to more deeply cherish your relationships and comprehend the power of a hug. 

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