"I do” isn’t the hard part.
Finding someone to usher you along on that white wedding day is where couples can sometimes get stumped. Say he’s a Buddhist and she’s a Christian. What then? Who marries them? For some lovebirds, it’s an easy decision. But for those in a quandary, here’s an easy answer: Meet Rev. Rochelle Knight.
“Sometimes they’re not religious, or one is, and the other is different, or their families are religious and they want to please both of their traditions,” Knight says. “I help guide the couple.”
This reverend is as untraditional as many of the couples that come to her for assistance. For an officiant, she’s young—only 36, with three children, and a husband of nearly nine years. Plus she has a varied spiritual past: Knight was raised as a Jehovah’s Witness, she meditates, has studied Tibetan Buddhism and was a student of Risa D’Angeles (GT’s favorite astrologer). This mish-mash of religions and spirituality provide Knight with a wealth of knowledge on how to officiate at weddings, especially when working with inter-faith, quasi-religious, or non-religious couples.
Hers is a unique approach: She learns how to speak each couple’s language, and works with them to develop a dynamic and personal wedding ceremony that satisfies both the bride and groom.
For $500, a couple can enlist the help of this reverend, who will meet with them several times before the big day, go through a questionnaire with them and ensure that their wedding day will go off perfectly, including hitting on the six “musts” for each ceremony.
The invocation, which is often a prayer, or for non-religious couples “there are other ways to invoke Spirit without directly using those terms or those words,” Knight says; the address, where Knight talks to the guests who are gathered and discusses why they are there, and what they are about to witness; a creative element, such as a poem or song, provides a soothing segue into the heart of the ceremony—the vows. Finally, she guides the couple in exchanging rings and lastly she offers a blessing to their union and reminds them, “that they can be stronger together than they are apart.”
It’s simple—a piece of cake. Well, actually, probably finding the wedding cake is much more difficult than working with Knight. This non-denominational reverend has an affable personality and she emits positivity.
In the course of spending an hour with Knight in her cozy home office in the Aptos Hills, she mentions numerous times how personal the wedding is. “It’s your day, make it yours,” she says. “That’s what I’m all about and why I’m here—to empower people to create a day that truly represents who they are.”
In a sleek binder in her office is a selection of the 50 or so weddings that she has performed. Couples can flip through the paperwork and find a ceremony whose elements they connect with. They can bring their own ideas, or Knight will provide the old faithful—a basic simple ceremony. Cobbling together all these different elements usually culminates in one-of-a-kind weddings. “This is a totally customized approach with very little outline or expectation,” she says.
So what is to be expected? A smooth wedding that will take anywhere from 15 to 30 minutes. Knight will also supply the marriage certificate. But don’t expect her to plan the entire day; that’s up to a wedding coordinator or someone you’ve nominated to be in charge of that day, which by the way, Knight recommends.
But what’s the ultimate expectation that a couple can get from working with Knight? A celebration of their love. “I feel that the universe works in mysterious ways, and if you’re brought together, you’re usually destined to find out the reason why,” she says.
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