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Monsters of Rock

music_ABandOfOrcsA Band of Orcs declares war on eardrums. Next conquest? The Catalyst.
Marilyn Manson once said that if every cigarette shortens your life by six minutes, then each game of Dungeons and Dragons delays the loss of your virginity by six weeks. If he was right, then all of the members of A Band of Orcs are undoubtedly still waiting for that first magical game of belly bump. Further decreasing their nookie prospects, these guys appear onstage in Orc costumes so lifelike it’s downright scary. The group’s World of Warcraft-friendly death metal music is perfectly suited to its over-the-top appearance—which, as long as we’re making geeky references, seems to take more than passing inspiration from the Gamorrean guards in Return of the Jedi.

 

The latest news from the Orc realms: The band has just signed to Itchy Metal Entertainment Records and contributed a cover of Type O Negative’s “Green Man” to the album All for None, None for All: A Peter Steele Tribute. What’s more, August will see the release of 28-millimeter miniatures of all five band members: Oog (drums), Cretos (lead guitar), Hulg (rhythm guitar), Gronk! (bass) and Gogog (vocals).

With all of the Orcs’ recent conquests, the time is right for a “raid” … or, as we puny humans would say, a Band of Orcs show. The group will invade The Catalyst on Friday, with supporting acts Warbringer, Hatchet, Exmortus and Witchaven. In honor of the occasion, GT had a memorable powwow with these self-proclaimed WarChiefs of the Apocalypse.

Good Times: How do you feel about being signed to IME Records? How did the deal come about?

Gogog: Itchy Metal only label that offer deal not make Orc slave to human. Other label act like them masters of Orc, instead of Orcs masters of human. Us spare IME when the Domination come. We’re not signed to them—they signed to us! Ahahahahahahaha!!!!

Gronk!: Us welcome allies that make propOrcanda in war on human eardrums. IME try to conquer all humans, not just few. Us want conquer all humans, too. Not just few. Some human labels eat real small. Orc eat real big!

What do you think of the other bands you’ll be playing with at The Catalyst?

Hulg: These Orcs not think.

Gogog: Shut it! Gogog very excited to see Exmortus. Not seen them since them get new guitar slave, Sean. They will tear the stage up and destroy Santa Cruz best ever or else Gogog will feed Sean to Hulg.

Hulg: No, you tease Hulg. Hulg never get to eat Sean brain. Exmortus too damn good.

Gogog, doesn’t your voice get hoarse from singing like that?

Gogog: No, me eat horse and chase frogout of throat.

Do you have any pets?

Gogog: No. No more. Ate frog, too. Wait. Yes. Him name is Yardbone. Him bring water to Orcs.

Have Orcs got game? Does this band get groupies?

Gogog: Yes, all groupies are game. All human females want to make half-Orc with Gogog.

Cretos: Huh-huh. Him said half-Orc.

On your Facebook profile, you list Run DMC as one of your influences. Can you please explain?

Gogog: Gogog hear “King of Rock” and know they talk about I.

How do you feel about the release of A Band of Orcs miniatures?

Hulg: Small castings of soul in metal, awaits adornment, plastic prison. Beasts ensnared, sound exploding, though none comes from lead ... head ... red ... dead.

If you could kill one human, who would you choose?

Cretos: Why stop once? Us kill all humans!


A Band of Orcs plays at 8:30 p.m. Friday, June 24, at The Catalyst, 1011 Pacific Ave., Santa Cruz. Tickets: $10/adv., $12/ door. Call 423-1338.  Photo Credit: Kaley Nelson

 

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written by Thrall, June 24, 2011
FOR THE HORDE!

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Heart Me Up

In defense of Valentine’s Day

 

“be(ing) of love (a little) more careful”—e.e. cummings

Wednesday (Feb. 10) is Ash Wednesday, when Lent begins. Friday (Feb. 12) is Lincoln’s 207th birthday. Sunday is Valentine’s Day. On Ash Wednesday, with foreheads marked with a cross of ashes, we hear the words, “From dust thou art and unto dust thou shalt return.” Reminding us that our bodies, made of matter, will remain here on Earth when we are called back. It is our Soul that will take us home again. Lent offers us 40 days and nights of purification in preparation for the Resurrection (Easter) festival (an initiation) and for the Three Spring Festivals (at the time of the full moon)—Aries, Taurus, Gemini. The New Group of World Servers have been preparing since Winter Solstice. The number 40 is significant. The Christ (Pisces World Teacher) was in the desert for 40 days and 40 nights prior to His three-year ministry. The purpose of this desert exile was to prepare his Archangel (light) body to withstand the pressures of the Earth plane (form and matter). We, too, in our intentional purifications and prayers during the 40 days of Lent, prepare ourselves (physical body, emotions, lower mind) to receive and be able to withstand the irradiation of will, love/wisdom and light streaming into the Earth at spring equinox, Easter, and the Three Spiritual Festivals. What is Lent? The Anglo-Saxon word, lencten, comes from an ancient spring festival, agricultural rites marking the transition between winter and summer. The seasons reflect changes in nature (physical world) and humanity responds with social festivals of gratitude and of renewal. There is a purification process, prayerfulness in nature and in humanity in preparation for a great flow of spiritual energies during springtime. Valentine’s Day: Aquarius Sun, Taurus moon. Let us offer gifts of comfort, ease, harmony, beauty and satisfaction. Things chocolate and golden. Venus and Taurus things.

 

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