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Mar 30th
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film_bad_fameBehold—the worst films of 2009

You don’t come across films like Precious and Up In The Air every day—let’s not forget Away We Go—so relish them while you can. In meantime, 2009, while it was a strong year overall at the box office, spawned more than a cluster of clunkers. Take note of the following films—most of them remakes— and then immediately erase them from your memory.

10. Hannah Montana

Neither the wig nor a media scandal could save crooner Miley Cyrus from hitting a major sour note here in film that felt like a dressed-up reality show of her life. Did anybody else get cavities?

9. Transformers: Revenge of the Fallen

Loud and long. Silly and dull. Note to Shia LaBeouf: Quit acting with your face.

8. Terminator: Salvation

Oh, it’s hard to toss rotten tomatoes at a creative and visual wiz like director McG—he can, actually, create wonders—so let’s toss them at writers John D. Brancato and Michael Ferris for stripping the already tired Terminator franchise of some of its soul—and  for giving us a John Connor (Christian Bale) we could barely care about. DVD-philes: Dive into the Fox TV’s short-lived yet surprisingly imaginative The Sarah Connor Chronicles.

7. All About Steve

Thank you Sandra Bullock for perpetuating the myth that it’s totally fine to be completely obsessed about the “man of your dreams.” For a more intelligent look at love and relationships, rent the well-crafted film 500 Days of Summer. And Sandra, bless you for redeeming yourself (somewhat) with The Blind Side.

film_gijoe6. G.I. Joe: Rise of the Cobra

Forward march—right into the abyss.

5. Wolverine

A (more) buff Hugh Jackman took audiences back to the beginnings of the revered Wolverine character form the X-Men films. Bottom line: barely scratched the surface on the interest meter.

4. Race to Witch Mountain

Dwayne Johnson—always good to look at for work-out tips—morphs into a cabbie trying to protect two paranormal siblings.  (And my inner child—the one who adored the smoother ride of the original in the ’70s—didn’t like it one bit.)

3. Friday the 13th

Don’t breathe a sigh of relief—yet. Even though this year’s ill-fated reboot of the long-suffering franchise marked the twelfth film in the series—and we thought Freddy vs. Jason was the final blow—you can’t help but wonder if there’s a nutty filmmaker out there craving to give 13th its thirteenth slash-around.

2. Land of the Lost

Earth to Will Ferrell: “Come back, come back wherever you are. This thing called your career … it’s in desperate need of your attention.”

1. Fame

Remember its name: Lame. Alan Parker’s 1980 classic got a shameful makeover here. (Hollywood: don’t try this again with Flashdance.)

 

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Spring Triangle: Three Spring Festivals—Aries, Taurus, Gemini

The Spring signs Aries, Taurus and Gemini constitute a triangle of force that sets the template for the nine signs that follow and the template for the entire year (Spring 2015 - Spring 2016) ahead. Aries initiates new ideas, Taurus stabilizes the new thinking of Aries and Gemini takes the initiating stabilized ideas of Aries/Taurus and disperses them to all of humanity. It is in this way that humanity learns new things, with the help of Mercury, the messenger. As Spring unfolds, three elements emerge: the Fire of Aries (initiating new ideas), the Earth of Taurus (anchoring the ideas of God through Mercury) and the Air of communicating Gemini. These three signs/elements are the Three Spring Festivals. They are the “triangle of force” forming the template (patterns) of energy for the upcoming new year. After these three we then have the soothing, calming, warming, nurturing and tending waters of the mother (Cancer). Cancer initiates our next season under the hot suns of summer. Planets, stars and signs create the Temple of Light directing humanity towards all things new. March 29 is Palm Sunday, when the Christ, World Teacher, was led into Jerusalem (City of Peace) on a donkey (humility). Palms waving above His head, signified recognition of the Christ’s divinity. Palm Sunday is the Sunday before the Easter (Resurrection Festival). Palm Sunday begins Holy Week, the week of capture, imprisonment, passion, sacrifice, crucifixion, death and resurrection of the christ. All events in the Christ’s life represent events (initiations) that humanity experiences through many lifetimes. We turn our attention to these holy events this week. Their concepts portray and reveal to us greater spiritual understanding. Then, Aries, the “light of life itself” shines through us.

 

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