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Sep 16th
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film_bad_fameBehold—the worst films of 2009

You don’t come across films like Precious and Up In The Air every day—let’s not forget Away We Go—so relish them while you can. In meantime, 2009, while it was a strong year overall at the box office, spawned more than a cluster of clunkers. Take note of the following films—most of them remakes— and then immediately erase them from your memory.

10. Hannah Montana

Neither the wig nor a media scandal could save crooner Miley Cyrus from hitting a major sour note here in film that felt like a dressed-up reality show of her life. Did anybody else get cavities?

9. Transformers: Revenge of the Fallen

Loud and long. Silly and dull. Note to Shia LaBeouf: Quit acting with your face.

8. Terminator: Salvation

Oh, it’s hard to toss rotten tomatoes at a creative and visual wiz like director McG—he can, actually, create wonders—so let’s toss them at writers John D. Brancato and Michael Ferris for stripping the already tired Terminator franchise of some of its soul—and  for giving us a John Connor (Christian Bale) we could barely care about. DVD-philes: Dive into the Fox TV’s short-lived yet surprisingly imaginative The Sarah Connor Chronicles.

7. All About Steve

Thank you Sandra Bullock for perpetuating the myth that it’s totally fine to be completely obsessed about the “man of your dreams.” For a more intelligent look at love and relationships, rent the well-crafted film 500 Days of Summer. And Sandra, bless you for redeeming yourself (somewhat) with The Blind Side.

film_gijoe6. G.I. Joe: Rise of the Cobra

Forward march—right into the abyss.

5. Wolverine

A (more) buff Hugh Jackman took audiences back to the beginnings of the revered Wolverine character form the X-Men films. Bottom line: barely scratched the surface on the interest meter.

4. Race to Witch Mountain

Dwayne Johnson—always good to look at for work-out tips—morphs into a cabbie trying to protect two paranormal siblings.  (And my inner child—the one who adored the smoother ride of the original in the ’70s—didn’t like it one bit.)

3. Friday the 13th

Don’t breathe a sigh of relief—yet. Even though this year’s ill-fated reboot of the long-suffering franchise marked the twelfth film in the series—and we thought Freddy vs. Jason was the final blow—you can’t help but wonder if there’s a nutty filmmaker out there craving to give 13th its thirteenth slash-around.

2. Land of the Lost

Earth to Will Ferrell: “Come back, come back wherever you are. This thing called your career … it’s in desperate need of your attention.”

1. Fame

Remember its name: Lame. Alan Parker’s 1980 classic got a shameful makeover here. (Hollywood: don’t try this again with Flashdance.)

 

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Watch List

From Google to the government to data brokers, why your privacy is now a thing of the past

 

A Different Revolution

Aries Moon late Wednesday and Thursday. We think new thoughts and initiate new ideas. Sun in Virgo with Saturn in Scorpio help disciples to create orderly structures to anchor and bring forth new ideas. Stabilizing Taurus moon Friday and Saturday. We anchor new ideas into form and matter, like seeds planted in the soil. We tend them, waiting for green shoots to emerge. Like the gestating Virgo Sun Madonna, awaiting the birth of the holy child, the Soul, the new light at winter solstice. Mercury and Chiron converse about what hurts and what heals.Saturday is a complex day with Mercury (communication), Mars (action!) and Uranus (revolution). Mercury in Libra is opposite Uranus in Aries. Oppositions (recognizing something new appearing over there somewhere) eventually synthesize. Mercury in Libra calls for Right Action and Right Relations, especially with money. Uranus in Aries—the revolution this time must be different.  Also on Saturday, Mars enters Sagittarius. Where are we going, what are our goals, where’s justice, where’s the mountain, do we have good shoes? Sunday Venus trines Pluto—in-depth assessment of money, values and resources. Gemini moon Monday; we talk a lot, tending to tasks in gardens and neighborhoods. Cancer Moon Tuesday and Wednesday; we nurture and nourish. The stars and planets remind us.Note: William Meader, esoteric author & international teacher, will be speaking on “The Soul of Humanity Evolving Through Crisis” at Meditation Mount, 7pm, Friday, Sept. 12.

 

Final Cut

Cedar Street Video to close after 10 years at downtown location

 

Film, Times & Events: Week of September 12

Santa Cruz area movie theaters >
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