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My Pal, My Buddy, My Mom

RisaNewSMy mother (96) died last week, 10:30 a.m., Thursday, March 13, 2014. For the past nine months I never left her. I am in her home. Surrounding me everywhere are her creative (she was Leo Sun) efforts to make a beautiful home and gardens. Everything around me is my mother. However, wherever I look, her precious body is no longer here. I am devastated, in grief, in bereavement and anguish. During these last nine months all activities, each breath I took, was for my mother.

I realize in my grief that all my life I have been seeking my mother. The nine months (nine tests, gestation to birth) were very difficult. Mother’s illness demanded skills I did not possess. Often at a loss as moment-by-moment emergencies ceaselessly occurred, I stood by helpless. She would cry out “Help me, help me!” I would ask, “How can I help, Mother?” She would say, “I don’t know. Find me in your heart. Love me.” Now with her gone I do not know why I should go on.

I feel bereft of life, purpose and desire. I look for her everywhere. Everywhere is empty. She is not here. My mother thought I was her mother and her beloved grandmother. She would sing a song over and over—“My Mom.” Here are the words. “My mom, I love her. That sweet somebody, thinks I'm somebody. My pal, my buddy, my mom. Anything I do she's my inspiration. Anytime I'm blue she's my consolation. As years come on her I gaze upon her.

She's my Madonna. My mom.” (Batson, et al) I turn to the Esoteric Wisdom for help. “Regarding those who have passed into the light, follow them with your love. They are still the same people, minus the outer limiting shroud of body. Serve them, but seek not that they should serve your need of them. Go to them, but seek not to bring them back to you.” (Esoteric Healing) I am trying. Not succeeding. My mother is with her mother now. Her pal, her buddy, her Madonna. Her mom.

ariesAries-March 21–April 20
In quiet contemplation attempt to define what no longer serves a purpose in your life and what you can improve upon. Ponder upon these with serious intent. Use visualizing skills to bring forth all that’s new in your world. Which then would become new for everyone else. You’re to initiate new realities. They always begin in the mind. To be productive you must have solitude. Allow it to permeate your life. For now.


taurusTaurus April 21–May 21
You’re very intelligent and observant about events in the world. You initiate new thought, discussions that awaken hearts and minds to realities unspoken and unobserved. Your information has impact. Many turn to you for advice. At times you’re restless, yet need more sleep. Taurus is the illumined mind, intrinsically understanding the wisdom of the Buddha. Prepare for Wesak.


geminiGemini May 22–June 20
You wonder about your work in the world and how your communication is received. More and more your thoughts, plans and ideas influence others. It’s time to consider what your opinion of the world is at this time, and what professional level you would like to assume. Many tasks will be required, much thinking and more and more responsibilities. You will accomplish much. Then you must rest.


cancerCancer June 21–July 20
Visions, thoughts and ideals occupy your mind these days. You’re in a cycle of expansion, gaining knowledge, learning more, impatient with mundane chatter. Enter into deeper communications, philosophical and later, psychological. You see the big picture. As small details of life fade away you find yourself forgetting things. Create a daily reminder journal, jotting each day’s events down. It becomes a creative journal.


leoLeo July 21–August 22
To earn your living with satisfaction it must have fun and playful aspects. You take pride in your work always seeking to do your best. To be the best you must feel a harmonious rhythm, you must feel independently creative, you must be recognized and you must experience joy. Is all of this occurring within your chosen profession? Does your work ease your heart?


virgoVirgo August 23–September 22
Your mind is often a rich environment where ideas are shaped into ideals, which you attempt to cultivate and disseminate. It’s important to be aware of the seasons, planning through each season so you can, on outer levels, see that you are reaping and sowing, planting and gathering. Your self-awareness grows along with your seedlings.


libraLibra September 23–October 22
So many gifts you possess—tact and diplomacy, refinement in social skills, compromise and cooperation. All of these lead to Right Action and Right Relations, qualities needed in the Aquarian Age. You might want to consider expanding your Libra gifts in the coming months, adding the skills of mediation, bargaining, teamwork, and reconciliation. Then study design.

scorpioScorpio October 23–November 21
You need some pleasure, recreation, freedom and affection. You work hard for your money but there comes a time when the work and money details must be set aside and a different determined focus must come forth—comfort, things pleasurable, beauty and the creative. These are paramount. You’re very charming and magnetic. They need to be released a bit more into the world.


saggSagittarius November 22–December 20
Be sure to incorporate appreciation and support to all and everyone you encounter. These strengthen and reward you
with vision. They give meaning to other people’s lives. This is a formula that provides the charisma and security you seek. This last line is most important to ponder. You’re always
the teacher, shaping others’ beliefs and attitudes. There is gratitude for you everywhere.


capricornCapricorn December 21–January 20
As your life develops you find yourself working consciously within discipline and order. Without structure, limitation and rules, life for all of us becomes dissipated. There’s no tension to work through and one can become lost. You’re aware that to be mature and ultimately successful, discipline leads to freedom. Provide kind and loving discipline to others.


aquariusAquarius January 21–February 18
It’s important to consider what has value for you. And to see yourself as valuable. Being aware of the value of self means being aware of yourself as useful, of service, important in the world. Recognizing self as valuable creates self-esteem. This doesn’t come from others. Appreciation of your skills brings them forth. Name your skills.

 
piscesPisces February 19–March 20
It’s known that Pisces is otherworldly, dreamy, magical and unusual. Often how they exist in the world is a question. For many Pisces it’s as if they have taken spiritual vows. The abundance they understand is of the spirit. As the months unfold, resources become more and more available. You will use them wisely. Remain in the garden.
 


Risa is Founder & Director of the Esoteric & Astrological Studies & Research Institute, a contemporary Wisdom School in Santa Cruz, CA.

More at nightlightnews.com. Risa's email: This e-mail address is being protected from spambots. You need JavaScript enabled to view it Facebook: Risa's Esoteric Astrology

Comments (10)Add Comment
writer
written by risa d, March 22, 2014
Thank you for everyone who wrote such heart filled messages. Each message different, each message filled with a wisdom that helps my heart not ache so deeply. I send my gratitude to each of you...with love, Risa
IN LOSS OF YOUR MOTHER; PLEASE READ, IT WILL HELP YOU !
written by Mary Jo Toschak, March 21, 2014
Dearest Risa, I am sorry for your loss, I lost my Mother several years ago, and i can relate to your emptiness,its hard to explain, the day she passed (my Mother) we were waiting for the coroner when suddenly, this eagle came flying out of nowhere , it was heading right for the house, we couldn't believe our eyes. It flew directly towards the large living room window where we were standing, it circled right in front of the window, around and around, it was so close i could see it's eye's,and face, It was my Mother! She had formed into an Eagle ! i could see that she was finally free as she soared, circling right in front of us! It was the most beautiful moment in my life, I knew that her soul was at peace, I still see her now and then, just know that your Mom is in a better place and is and will be watching over you, even if you don't see her ! I hope you read this and it helps you. God Bless you and keep you strong during these most difficult times. With the stars to guide you, to guide us all...... yours truly Mary Jo
...
written by Spring day, March 20, 2014
Dear Risa,
I am so sorry for your tremendous loss. Maybe you will visit with your mother in your dreams. That's where I meet mine.
You are important to us! Don't go anywhere!
Beautiful
written by Ginger, March 20, 2014
There is no way to prepare for this moment of loss. Your feeling is deep as your love for the one who has gone. Thank you for sharing this.
writer, friend
written by Britta Wilder, March 20, 2014
Dearest Risa.... my heart goes out to you at this time on your journey. I sat with my own mother and lost her, years ago, but she remains with me throughout my day. Sometimes she is laughing but mostly she is relieved, at peace, and almost surprised with her new freedom.... I miss her. I imagine how you feel at this moment in your grief-- the grief does not go away but finds its own rhythm, like a river... it is a part of you but it can become... almost beautiful. She was lucky to have you with her as she left; I think of my own mother, in her boat along the tide, as my sisters and I waited for the final wave to carry her off. There are no words. It is devastating. It is all new. I am sad... I am awake... I am blessed. My heart is with you..... Britta PS I met you years ago at Peggy Black's "Capricorn Party" in Felton; your weekly words have provided meaning for me, ever since... you are loved.
...
written by MStoddard81@hotmail,com, March 20, 2014
Thank you for everything
Deep Sympathy
written by cmeadow, March 19, 2014
Dear Risa,

You feel like a close friend. I appreciate all of your star wisdom and have enjoyed your horoscopes for years; all the way back from the Encinitas Sun periodical.

I cannot imagine your sorrow and just the thought of what you must be enduring makes me cry.
We send you love & light in this difficult time. Your Mom lives on in you.

Please continue on. The world needs you. I need you. Your horoscope are the best.

Thank you for sharing your heart with us and your Mum's memory and the beauty she left behind.

My sympathy to you and your family and my gratitude for your work...

Always,

Encinitas Meadow
My Condolences
written by Loyal Reader, March 19, 2014
I am so sorry for your loss. I send love and light your way.
sending love
written by Rebekah, March 19, 2014
Dearest Risa, sending love from Hawaii...your compassion, wisdom and insights are truly appreciated.Thank you for your honesty and sharing. Your mother was blessed to have you by her side and so are we.
Internationally-acclaimed musician and creativity consultant
written by Michelle Chappel PhD, March 19, 2014
I am so sorry for your loss. Years ago you gave me guidance before I moved to S Africa to start my music career, and for that I am forever grateful. I lost my father recently, and some dear friends too. It's a difficult process but it seems to me that you can use your incredible astrological insights and gifts to steer through this time. I read your column every week; it speaks to me more than any other horoscopes out there. You help so many people. Love to you.

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