Santa Cruz Good Times

Tuesday
Jul 07th
Text size
  • Increase font size
  • Default font size
  • Decrease font size

Halloween

Kim_Luke2How Many Times Can I Say ‘Sexy’?
I feel it in the air, sense it in local thrift stores and smell it on the breath of every remotely hip person in town. No, not curry—Halloween is almost upon us. Although it’s often hard to tell here, what with “keeping it weird,” “doing your own thing,” and “year-round Burning Man,” I found proof at Target: Christmas decorations side-by-side with candy corn. Trick and treat.

This won’t be a nostalgic comparison with Halloweens of my youth. And it won’t be a rant about our fabled downtown antics, either; as a fan of public outdoor gatherings, cross-dressing and martial law, it’s sort of a perfect night for me.

What I’m pondering is the “Sexy Costume.” On the one hand, it’s fantastic fodder for parody. On the other hand, too many humor-impaired people buy into the trend without noticing their plummeting dignity or missed opportunity for creativity. Why be another Sexy Nurse when you could be Sexy Uninsured Mother of Six? Sexy Schoolgirl Again? Why not Sexy Child Left Behind! And what better way to promote environmentalism than Sexy Electric Car, with Equal Opportunity AC/DC Plug!

While men are not immune from disappointing costume trends, it seems the unspoken rule dictates they add layers at Halloween (capes, tunics, muscles) while females subtract. But consider passing up that timeworn Plumber With Butt Crack and be Sexy Meatball, Sexy Mount Shasta or maybe even Sexy City Hall Camping Bedroll.

The American tradition of trick-or-treating was introduced at the turn of the last century and gained a foothold in the 1930s. Costumes for all were relegated to scary apparitions suited to celebrating the oncoming dark time of the year and the spirits (good and evil) who could pass through to our world on this Hallows Eve. Exciting, but not sexy.

At first I opposed the new randy Halloween, citing artistic reasons, not puritanical. Then, in a moment of fishnet-vampire clarity, I saw the bigger picture. If Halloween had become eroticized this easily, could other holidays be far behind? And more to the point, how could I personally benefit from Sexy Thanksgiving, Sexy Christmas, and yes, even Sexy Presidents’ Day Weekend?

The natural evolution of protest, at least from the viewpoint of the extremely lazy or unmotivated, starts with simply not participating. (Apparently I’m currently protesting vitamins.) Nothing says, “I won’t stand for this Sexy All Hallows Eve!” more than sitting on your couch watching Entourage.  The sacrifice, of course, is a pillowcase full of candy. But the precedent set will reap huge benefits. Once it’s time for Sexy Tofurkey at Thanksgiving and Sexy Ham at Easter, you can practice the same protest and be venerated for your decision to skip family functions on moral grounds.

(Imagine how exciting Sexy Abe Lincoln and Sexy George Washington will be. Not many obligations to dodge for Presidents Day, but I’m a little giddy with anticipation.)

Christmas, Earth Day, Ramadan, Memorial and Veteran’s Days, Labor Day, Kwanzaa, Hanukkah: your less zealous observers anxiously await the Sexy Magi, Sexy Mother Nature, Sexy Imam, Sexy Dead Soldier, Sexy Pipefitter, Sexy Seven Principles and Sexy Jackie Mason. (Clearly some holidays need marketing attention.)

Before you protest my protest, chew on this nugget: Once Hallmark starts marketing Family Reunions, wait for the Sexy to kick in and then thank me. (“Sorry mom, I just have to take a stand—for the future of America. And tell Sexy Aunt Frances I’ll miss her slaw.”)

The calendar year is rife with opportunities to stay home, not participate, and scoff at the masses, huddled or not. All it’s going to take is the inevitable contamination by Halloween of all other holidays, and don’t think for a minute that it can’t happen. Remember, the first time you see a Sexy Martin Luther King, Jr., that I warned you. And if you decide to skip the march, parade, or vigil, well that’s your decision. (MLK Day falls on a Monday in 2011, the same night as Dancing With the Stars, just so you know.)

When my doorbell rings on Oct. 31 and I’m faced with a Dallas Cowboys Cheerleader, a French Maid, a Catholic School Girl and a Lil’ Kim—all under age 9—I will scream a real scream of terror, then hand over the treats, because the real trick is my silent “thank you” as I think of my obligation-free future.

 


Kim Luke hopes to finish her costume as Sexy Bob Hope in time for Memorial Day. She thanks you in advance for your anticipated memories/emails: This e-mail address is being protected from spambots. You need JavaScript enabled to view it .
Comments (0)Add Comment

Write comment
smaller | bigger

busy
 

Share this on your social networks

Bookmark and Share

Share this

Bookmark and Share

 

The Boards Are Back in Town

More than a century after a famed trio of Hawaiian princes first surfed in Santa Cruz, their redwood olo surfboards are returning to the Museum of Art & History

 

We Hold These Truths to Be Self-Evident

Saturday, July 4, is the 239th birthday of the United States, commemorating the signing of the Declaration of Independence (the U.S. astrology chart has Aquarius moon—freedom for its people, by its people). Cancer, a liberating and initiating sign, is the “gate” where Spirit enters matter. Cancer receives and distributes Ray 3 (Divine Intelligence) and Ray 7 (new rules, new rhythms, new free nation under God). Cancer represents an intelligent freethinking humanity that can and must create right economics for the world. This means a policy of sharing, an opportunity for the U.S. when Venus (money, resources, possessions, etc.) retrogrades July and August in Leo (the heart of the matter). The United States has a unique spiritual task for the world: to lead humanity within and toward the light, accomplished by its people who must first awaken to this task, learn discrimination and be directed by the soul to assume the Herculean task of spiritual world leadership. Let us review the first words of our Constitution: “We the People of the United States, in order to form a more perfect Union, establish justice, ensure domestic tranquility, provide for the common defense, promote the general welfare, and secure the blessings of liberty to ourselves and our posterity, do ordain and establish this constitution for the United States of America.” Let us form that union together. The following is a review of the spiritual tasks for each sign. Read all the signs. They all apply to everyone.  

 

The New Tech Nexus

Community leaders in science and technology unite to form web-based networking program

 

Film, Times & Events: Week of July 3

Santa Cruz area movie theaters >
Sign up for Good Times weekly newsletter
Get the latest news, events

RSS Feed Burner

 Subscribe in a reader

Latest Comments

 

Lunch is Packed

Picnic basket lunches from Your Place, plus smoked chili peppers, and new owners at Camellia Tea House

 

What would you like the Supreme Court to rule on next?

Raising the minimum wage so that those that are in poverty now can have a higher standard of life. Greanna Smith, Soquel, Nanny

 

Bruzzone Family Vineyards

Bruzzone Family Vineyards is a small operation run by Berna and John Bruzzone. Starting out a few years ago making only Chardonnay, they eventually planted Pinot Noir on their extensive property and now make this varietal as well.

 

Ty’s Eatery

Pop-up hooks up with Santa Cruz Food Lounge for healthy comfort food