Santa Cruz Good Times

Friday
May 22nd
Text size
  • Increase font size
  • Default font size
  • Decrease font size

Halloween

Kim_Luke2How Many Times Can I Say ‘Sexy’?
I feel it in the air, sense it in local thrift stores and smell it on the breath of every remotely hip person in town. No, not curry—Halloween is almost upon us. Although it’s often hard to tell here, what with “keeping it weird,” “doing your own thing,” and “year-round Burning Man,” I found proof at Target: Christmas decorations side-by-side with candy corn. Trick and treat.

This won’t be a nostalgic comparison with Halloweens of my youth. And it won’t be a rant about our fabled downtown antics, either; as a fan of public outdoor gatherings, cross-dressing and martial law, it’s sort of a perfect night for me.

What I’m pondering is the “Sexy Costume.” On the one hand, it’s fantastic fodder for parody. On the other hand, too many humor-impaired people buy into the trend without noticing their plummeting dignity or missed opportunity for creativity. Why be another Sexy Nurse when you could be Sexy Uninsured Mother of Six? Sexy Schoolgirl Again? Why not Sexy Child Left Behind! And what better way to promote environmentalism than Sexy Electric Car, with Equal Opportunity AC/DC Plug!

While men are not immune from disappointing costume trends, it seems the unspoken rule dictates they add layers at Halloween (capes, tunics, muscles) while females subtract. But consider passing up that timeworn Plumber With Butt Crack and be Sexy Meatball, Sexy Mount Shasta or maybe even Sexy City Hall Camping Bedroll.

The American tradition of trick-or-treating was introduced at the turn of the last century and gained a foothold in the 1930s. Costumes for all were relegated to scary apparitions suited to celebrating the oncoming dark time of the year and the spirits (good and evil) who could pass through to our world on this Hallows Eve. Exciting, but not sexy.

At first I opposed the new randy Halloween, citing artistic reasons, not puritanical. Then, in a moment of fishnet-vampire clarity, I saw the bigger picture. If Halloween had become eroticized this easily, could other holidays be far behind? And more to the point, how could I personally benefit from Sexy Thanksgiving, Sexy Christmas, and yes, even Sexy Presidents’ Day Weekend?

The natural evolution of protest, at least from the viewpoint of the extremely lazy or unmotivated, starts with simply not participating. (Apparently I’m currently protesting vitamins.) Nothing says, “I won’t stand for this Sexy All Hallows Eve!” more than sitting on your couch watching Entourage.  The sacrifice, of course, is a pillowcase full of candy. But the precedent set will reap huge benefits. Once it’s time for Sexy Tofurkey at Thanksgiving and Sexy Ham at Easter, you can practice the same protest and be venerated for your decision to skip family functions on moral grounds.

(Imagine how exciting Sexy Abe Lincoln and Sexy George Washington will be. Not many obligations to dodge for Presidents Day, but I’m a little giddy with anticipation.)

Christmas, Earth Day, Ramadan, Memorial and Veteran’s Days, Labor Day, Kwanzaa, Hanukkah: your less zealous observers anxiously await the Sexy Magi, Sexy Mother Nature, Sexy Imam, Sexy Dead Soldier, Sexy Pipefitter, Sexy Seven Principles and Sexy Jackie Mason. (Clearly some holidays need marketing attention.)

Before you protest my protest, chew on this nugget: Once Hallmark starts marketing Family Reunions, wait for the Sexy to kick in and then thank me. (“Sorry mom, I just have to take a stand—for the future of America. And tell Sexy Aunt Frances I’ll miss her slaw.”)

The calendar year is rife with opportunities to stay home, not participate, and scoff at the masses, huddled or not. All it’s going to take is the inevitable contamination by Halloween of all other holidays, and don’t think for a minute that it can’t happen. Remember, the first time you see a Sexy Martin Luther King, Jr., that I warned you. And if you decide to skip the march, parade, or vigil, well that’s your decision. (MLK Day falls on a Monday in 2011, the same night as Dancing With the Stars, just so you know.)

When my doorbell rings on Oct. 31 and I’m faced with a Dallas Cowboys Cheerleader, a French Maid, a Catholic School Girl and a Lil’ Kim—all under age 9—I will scream a real scream of terror, then hand over the treats, because the real trick is my silent “thank you” as I think of my obligation-free future.

 


Kim Luke hopes to finish her costume as Sexy Bob Hope in time for Memorial Day. She thanks you in advance for your anticipated memories/emails: This e-mail address is being protected from spambots. You need JavaScript enabled to view it .
Comments (0)Add Comment

Write comment
smaller | bigger

busy
 

Share this on your social networks

Bookmark and Share

Share this

Bookmark and Share

 

Gate Openers

Up-and-coming artists like Ryan Bingham are a great reason to show up early to the Santa Cruz American Music Festival

 

Gemini Sun, Pentecost, Shavuot—Enlightenment and Gladness

As the sun enters Gemini on Sunday, sign of speaking, communication, thinking, inter-relations, writing and understanding languages, the feast days of Pentecost & Shavuot (Catholic and Jewish festivals) occur. During Pentecost’s 50 days after Easter, tongues of fire appear above the heads of the disciples, providing them with the ability to understand all languages and all feelings hidden in the minds and hearts of humanity. It’s recorded that Pentecost began with a loud noise, which happened in an upper room (signifying the mind). The Christ (World Teacher) told his disciples (after his ascension) when encountering a man at a well carrying a water pot (signs for Age of Aquarius) to follow him to an upper room. There, the Holy Spirit (Ray 3 of Divine Intelligence) would overshadow them, expand their minds, give them courage and enable them to teach throughout the world, speaking all languages and thus able to minister to the true needs of a “seeking” humanity. Pentecost (50 days, pentagram, Ray 5, Venus, concrete and scientific knowledge, the Ray of Aquarius) sounds dramatic, impressive and scary: The loud noise, a thunderous rush of wind and then “tongues of fire” above the heads of each disciple (men and women). Fire has purpose. It purifies, disintegrates, purges, transforms and liberates (frees) us from the past. This was the Holy Spirit (Ray 3, love and wisdom) being received by the disciples, so they would teach in the world and inform humanity of the Messiah (Christ), who initiated the new age (Pisces) and gave humanity the new law (adding to the 10 Commandments of the Aries Age) to Love (Ray 2) one another. Note: Gemini is also Ray 2. Shavuot is the Jewish Festival of Gladness, the First Fruits Festival celebrating the giving of the 10 Commandments to Moses as the Aries Age was initiated. Thus, we have two developmental stages here, Jewish festival of the Old Testament. Pentecost of the New Testament. We have gladness, integrating both.

 

The New Tech Nexus

Community leaders in science and technology unite to form web-based networking program

 

Off Her Meds

Kristin Wiig runs wild—and transcends her sketch comedy roots—as a truly strange character ‘Welcome to Me’
Sign up for Good Times weekly newsletter
Get the latest news, events

RSS Feed Burner

 Subscribe in a reader

Latest Comments

 

Flats Bistro

Pizza with an artisan twist comes to Aptos Beach

 

What’s your take on Santa Cruz locals?

Santa Cruz locals are really friendly once you know them. I think a lot of them have a hard time leaving, and I would too. Ryan Carle, Santa Cruz, Biologist

 

Soquel Vineyards

If Soquel Vineyards partners Peter and Paul Bargetto and Jon Morgan were walking down the street wearing their winning wine competition medals, you’d hear them coming from a mile away. This year was particularly rewarding for the Bargettos and Morgan—they won two Double Gold Medals and five Gold Medals at January’s San Francisco Chronicle Wine Competition.

 

Enlightened Flavors

Squash & Blossom’s artisanal alternative-flour delights, beet kvass from Cafe Ivéta, and the Santa Cruz Baroque Festival