Santa Cruz Good Times

Friday
Aug 28th
Text size
  • Increase font size
  • Default font size
  • Decrease font size

This Is The End

greg mayancalendarThis is traditionally such a busy and chaotic time of year for so many of us. Regardless of whether or not you align yourself with any particular spiritual or religious path and its seasonal celebrations, it seems that the general pace picks up all around us, and we’re often caught up despite our best efforts. And wouldn’t you know it, right in the thick of it comes another poker in the fire. I don’t know if you heard or not, but this weekend is kind of a big deal, and it pretty much blows everything else out of the celebratory water.

According to the Mayans (the formerly living Mayans—there are not any actual Mayans left), Friday is the end of the world! This Friday—Dec. 21.

Even though it’s obviously a major event, it may have been lost in the shuffle along with buying more Scotch Tape for wrappig—and buying more Scotch. Just yesterday I was talking about my holiday party schedule, and I caught myself saying, “Friday … Friday…what else is happening? Oh shoot, I’ll have to miss the party. It’s the end of the world and I should stay home with my kids.”

Aside from the apocalypse being a handy excuse for postponing all the Christmas shopping, baking, cleaning, wrapping and most non-mandatory merriment, it is also a prime opportunity to get a few things off my chest and out in the open. If I am going to meet my maker (or someone else’s maker) in the next few days, I would like to start with a clean slate.

First of all, so that we are all clear on the concept, let’s lay the ground rules:  After Friday, Dec. 21, 2012, I will never, ever see, speak or write to, read updates from, get poked by, receive texts or voicemails or, for that matter, field forwarded chain emails or recycle junk mail from, or wake up next to, any of you ever again. On the up side, you will never ever get any of that from me either. Ever. It’s a certainty. There is absolutely no doubt in any thinking person’s mind. Right? OK. Since we are in agreement on the whole “end times” thing, I feel it’s my duty (and my barely containable joy) to put all my true feelings out there on the sacrificial table, for the universe to see. So here goes. (I highly recommend you do this with all of your friends, loved ones, co-workers and elected officials. It’s really a no-lose situation. What could go wrong?)

To all the men I’ve loved before: I only really loved three of you.

To my family: I should have treated you more like friends.

To my friends: I should have treated you more like family.

To my dog: Sorry about the cheap food. I know it makes you gassy.

To all the cars on the freeway in the middle of the day: I guess I’ll never know where you’re all going.

To all dairy products: Please know how much I have enjoyed interacting with you over the years. Our relationship has had its ups and downs, and I will forever (well, that’s really only another day or so) regret my stab at living lactose-free. That was clearly not living. I made up for it during my gorgonzola-sour cream sauce years. Why, just this morning I woke up with both heavy whipping cream and buttermilk in my refrigerator, on the shelf next to both flavors of butter. I will miss you dearly, dairy.

To my secret guilty pleasures (Civil War Reenactments, Meg Ryan movies, Muzak, Dudley Moore): I hope I never made you feel less-than-worthy, and I publicly embrace you here and now, in front of my dog and everyone.

To Donny Osmond, Henry Rollins, Ed Harris and Robert Downey, Jr.: You all had your chances (at different stages of my life) and you all blew it. I hope you can live with that, at least for another 36 hours or so.

To Father Time: You really know how to mess with someone. I suppose you think it’s funny putting life phases alphabetically—adolescence next to beauty, enthusiasm, hormones and ignorance, and then placing maturity right after libido but in a package deal with perspective, stones (kidney, gall et al) and vertigo. Ha. Ha.

To all my “skinny” clothes: I should have released you into the wild ages ago, so you could enjoy a normal size 12 life instead of living a lie on my size 14 body. I was selfish and wrong.

To my kids:  I’m kidding! The world isn’t ending! Do your homework because there absolutely will be school after the winter break. Who wants cookies?

If, for some crazy reason this Friday is not the Big Bang Redux, I would like to politely request that you simply recycle the newspaper and smile politely when we meet again at the grocery store. I will be the one replenishing my dairy case, maybe with Iron Man on my arm.

Kim Luke is probably enjoying the end of the world on the couch with her kids watching Grease. To contact her in the afterlife, write to This e-mail address is being protected from spambots. You need JavaScript enabled to view it .


**There are actually 800,000 people of Mayan ancestry still alive, but probably not a lot of them are calendar makers.

Comments (0)Add Comment

Write comment
smaller | bigger

busy
 

Share this on your social networks

Bookmark and Share

Share this

Bookmark and Share

 

The Meaning of ‘LIFE’

With a new documentary film about his work, and huge exhibits on both coasts, acclaimed Santa Cruz nature photographer Frans Lanting is having a landmark year. But his crusade for conservation doesn’t leave much time for looking back

 

Seasons of Opportunity

Everything in our world has a specific time (a season) in which to accomplish a specific work—a “season” that begins (opportunity) and ends (time’s up). I can feel the season is changing. The leaves turning colors, the air cooler, sunbeams casting shadows in different places. It feels like a seasonal change has begun in the northern hemisphere. Christmas is in four months, and 2015 is swiftly speeding by. Soon it will be autumn and time for the many Festivals of Light. Each season offers new opportunities. Then the season ends and new seasons take its place. Humanity, too, is given “seasons” of opportunity. We are in one of those opportunities now, to bring something new (Uranus) into our world, especially in the United States. Times of opportunity can be seen in the astrology chart. In the U.S. chart, Uranus (change) joins Chiron (wound/healing). This symbolizes a need to heal the wounds of humanity. Uranus offers new archetypes, new ways of doing things. The Uranus/Chiron (Aries/Pisces) message is, “The people of the U.S. are suffering. New actions are needed to bring healing and well-being to humanity. So the U.S. can fulfill its spiritual task of standing within the light and leading humanity within and toward the light.” Thursday, Aquarius Moon, Mercury enters Libra. The message, “To bring forth the new order in the world, begin with acts of Goodwill.” Goodwill produces right relations with everyone and everything. The result is a world of progressive well-being and peacefulness (which is neither passive nor the opposite of war). Saturday is the full moon, the solar light of Virgo streaming into the Earth. Our waiting now begins, for the birth of new light at winter solstice. The mother (hiding the light of the soul, the holy child), identifying the feminine principle, says, “I am the mother and the child. I, God (Father), I Matter (Mother), We are One.”

 

The New Tech Nexus

Community leaders in science and technology unite to form web-based networking program

 

Film, Times & Events: Week of August 28

Santa Cruz area movie theaters >
Sign up for Good Times weekly newsletter
Get the latest news, events

RSS Feed Burner

 Subscribe in a reader

Latest Comments

 

Land of Plenty

Farm to Fork benefit dinner for UCSC’s Agroecology Center, plus a zippy salsa from Teresa’s Salsa that loves every food it meets

 

If you knew you had one week to live, what would you do?

Make peace with myself, which would allow me to be at peace with others. Diane Fisher, Santa Cruz, Network Engineer

 

Comanche Cellars

Michael Simons, owner and winemaker of Comanche Cellars, once had a trusted steed called Comanche, which was part of his paper route and his rodeo circuit, from the tender age of 10. In memory of this beautiful horse, he named his winery Comanche, and Comanche’s shoes grace the label of each handcrafted bottle.

 

Cantine Winepub

Aptos wine and tapas spot keeps it casual