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Feb 14th
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Cold Feet Brings The Blues

news toysWhile having cold feet prior to a wedding is thought to be normal, new findings show that doubts often foreshadow divorce.

“Premarital doubts are meaningful, and something to pay attention to,” says Justin Lavner of UC Los Angeles.

Lavner and his colleagues surveyed more than 450 newlyweds and then followed up every six months for four years. The team found that uncertainty—especially among women—predicts divorce rates.  

Women who had doubts before their wedding were more than twice as likely to divorce. More men said they felt misgivings, but they were less likely to get divorced years after a bout of cold feet.

“We controlled for parents' divorce rate, whether the couple lived together before marriage, as well as personality characteristics like neuroticism,” says Lavner. Doubt and uncertainty proved to be the decisive factor.

The findings appeared last fall in the Journal of Family Psychology and suggest that couples should approach commitment on their own terms. For some couples, this may mean opting out of marriage altogether.

Marriage improves the odds of surviving colon cancer and heart surgery, and married couples report happier lives, but studies rarely compare the benefits of wedlock to cohabitation. New research shows that non-married couples can enjoy many of the same psychological and health benefits.

Researchers at Cornell followed nearly 3,000 men and women over the course of six years as they married or moved in with a partner. Both marriage and cohabitation resulted in a spike of well being. When compared to married couples, cohabitants experienced greater gains in happiness and self-esteem.

The findings appeared in the Journal of Marriage and Family, and suggest there is no rush to tie the knot—especially if one or both partners feel doubtful.

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Heart Me Up

In defense of Valentine’s Day

 

“be(ing) of love (a little) more careful”—e.e. cummings

Wednesday (Feb. 10) is Ash Wednesday, when Lent begins. Friday (Feb. 12) is Lincoln’s 207th birthday. Sunday is Valentine’s Day. On Ash Wednesday, with foreheads marked with a cross of ashes, we hear the words, “From dust thou art and unto dust thou shalt return.” Reminding us that our bodies, made of matter, will remain here on Earth when we are called back. It is our Soul that will take us home again. Lent offers us 40 days and nights of purification in preparation for the Resurrection (Easter) festival (an initiation) and for the Three Spring Festivals (at the time of the full moon)—Aries, Taurus, Gemini. The New Group of World Servers have been preparing since Winter Solstice. The number 40 is significant. The Christ (Pisces World Teacher) was in the desert for 40 days and 40 nights prior to His three-year ministry. The purpose of this desert exile was to prepare his Archangel (light) body to withstand the pressures of the Earth plane (form and matter). We, too, in our intentional purifications and prayers during the 40 days of Lent, prepare ourselves (physical body, emotions, lower mind) to receive and be able to withstand the irradiation of will, love/wisdom and light streaming into the Earth at spring equinox, Easter, and the Three Spiritual Festivals. What is Lent? The Anglo-Saxon word, lencten, comes from an ancient spring festival, agricultural rites marking the transition between winter and summer. The seasons reflect changes in nature (physical world) and humanity responds with social festivals of gratitude and of renewal. There is a purification process, prayerfulness in nature and in humanity in preparation for a great flow of spiritual energies during springtime. Valentine’s Day: Aquarius Sun, Taurus moon. Let us offer gifts of comfort, ease, harmony, beauty and satisfaction. Things chocolate and golden. Venus and Taurus things.

 

The New Tech Nexus

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